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This is a limited offer  in order to introduce my other books and services to the public.

I hope that you will look through my site and order other eBooks which spark your interest.  All of the eBooks are extremely easy to read and have tons of great information.  They will help you get through your action faster, easier and with more success.

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PLEASE NOTE:  Although the book has great general information about Divorce and Custody, wherever there is a reference to the law, the advice given is based upon California law.  Be sure to check with your local attorney regarding any differences between the law of your State and that of California.

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If you have any questions or problems placing your order, don’t hesitate to email me at DianneOphelia@gmail.com.

If you would like to purchase this ebook, please click the image below.

If you have any questions or problems placing your order, don’t hesitate to email me at DianneOphelia@gmail.com.

The keys to finding hidden assets are persistence and time. If you don’t have both available, you may want to consider hiring someone to do the work for you. Often you can find a bookkeeper who does not charge as much as an accountant, but can get the job done.

If you believe your Spouse has hidden substantial property or money, then I suggest that you hire an Accountant who Specializes in tracing assets.

For most cases, however, the amounts involved don’t justify thousands of dollars in accountant’s fees. Doing your own homework can turn up thousands of dollars you otherwise would not have had available to divide.

It is much easier to find an asset hidden within the last year or two than 10 or 20 years ago. Fortunately most people don’t think about trying to hide assets until a year or two before the divorce, so the job can be easier.

Some of the more obvious and easily discovered areas where assets may be missing are:

1. BANK ACCOUNTS:

The most common source of missing funds comes from Bank Accounts. Spouse’s will often take sums of money out of bank accounts a few months before separation in preparation for paying for a separate living space, furniture, attorney’s fees, and other expenses which crop up at divorce time.

Depending upon how long you think your spouse may have been planning their exit, obtain copies of bank statements as far back as necessary — anywhere from 6 months to 2 years is generally sufficient. Look at the withdrawals each month for anything out of the ordinary — you may be surprised! Also, be certain you have copies of ALL Bank Statements for ALL Bank Accounts.

Any sums of money that a Spouse uses which are not for the “benefit of the marital or community estate” will generally have to be reimbursed by that Spouse.

2. CREDIT CARDS:

Another common method of accumulating hidden assets is by way of credit card.

Obtain credit card statements for as far back as you feel necessary and check all of the withdrawals — particularly look for cash withdrawals and transfers to other accounts.

Obtain a copy of your spouse’s credit rating to be certain you know about all of their credit cards and debts.

3. CASH:

This is a trickier subject. If your spouse is in a business which accepts cash, look at the monthly receipts to determine if there has been an unusual drop in income with no explanation.

If the records are available, check to see if the drop of income is in the form of a drop in cash receipts in contrast to payment by credit card, check etc.

Numerous other methods exist to discover hidden assets. My purpose here is to give you three of the most simple and common methods of hiding assets and what to do about them.

If you suspect your spouse of this type of conduct, then you should research further methods, particularly as they relate to income and small businesses, to assure that you are receiving everything that you are entitled to in your divorce.

The best plan is actually “No Plan.” It consists of two parents who are able to communicate so well and who are so cooperative that they respect each other’s wishes and time with the children, that no agreement is necessary.

However, in my 30 years of Family Law practice, I can’t think of even one case that this actually worked, so don’t feel bad if you are not one of those perfect divorced parents.

A very detailed Child Custody Parenting Plan can avoid angry incidents, confusion and the ability of one or both parent to play games. The more detailed the custodial plan, the less wiggle room for manipulation. You can always agree to modify the plan, however it is beneficial to have all of the details laid out so that should an issue arise, you have a default plan to rely upon and you don’t end up back in divorce court.

It is difficult to remember every possibility and deal with those possibilities in a written document. A comprehensive outline is essential as a beginning point.

A good custodial arrangement will set out each option that Parents can choose from, with the result being a very individual, tailor made plan, just for that family.

Although forms supplied by Family Law Courts and Child Custody Counselors are helpful, generally they contain “boilerplate phrases” which should not be applied across the board. Attorneys, Judges and Counselors like “boilerplate” Forms, because they are already on their computer and easier to prepare. Don’t compromise just to make it easier for someone else.

Parenting plans should anticipate the future. Children need different schedules depending upon their ages and activities. Most often, a general plan is adopted by the parties and the court during a child custody case or divorce. It seldom anticipates the future and is seldom revisited at a later date because the parents don’t want to “reenter the divorce or child custody system” to change it.

Having a custody plan that anticipates the future can alleviate some of the problem, even though it obviously cannot address every situation which may arise. Don’t settle for a general parenting plan. Pick and choose those options which best suit both Parents and the Children’s lifestyles.

Many parents don’t realize how much detail should be included in a custodial plan. Just a simple “summer vacation Plan” should include the following:

1. Is the time with each parent going to be different than during the school year, and if so, how?

2. When does the new schedule start and end?

3. Does each parent receive some time for a vacation with the children? How long, two weeks?

4. Who chooses the vacation dates first (usually alternate even and odd years) and what are the deadlines to notify the other parent of the vacation dates?

5. What about summer camp, summer sports activities, etc. Who decides which activities the children shall participate in, who is responsible for the cost, who provides transportation, and what if the activity infringes on the other parent’s usual time with the children?

6. What about holidays such as 4th of July in the US and other holidays around the world? Who has the children on the holiday and how does that impact the other parent’s time?

7. What if there is a special occasion, such as an out of town relative visiting, a family reunion, special anniversary party etc? How often should a parent be allowed a special occasion and how is the makeup time for the other parent arranged?

8. What if the child attends summer school. Whose time does that impact and how?

9. What if one parent is off during the summer (such as a teacher.) Are they allowed to provide child care for the other parent?

10. If a Parent is taking the children out of town, what are the requirements for notification to the other parent? Is an itinerary appropriate? Should it include telephone numbers and dates? What about addresses, flight numbers etc? And, how soon should the itinerary be provided prior to departure?

11. Can a parent take the child out of the state without permission of the other parent? How about out of the Country?

Parenting plans must be given the time and attention they deserve. Make certain that the plan is right for the Parents and Children and that it covers every contingency. Don’t just adopt a court form and “worry about the details” later. It is easier to ignore the details, rather than have to resolve them now; however you will be much happier you did, for many years to come.

I see Fathers in T-shirts, cut offs, shirts hanging out, flip flops and in general, beachwear or sports wear. Dads, do you really think you can Win Custody of your Child looking like this?

Mothers will often wear short skirts, low cut necklines, thinking sexy will get the Judge to notice them. They are so wrong.

Do you think a Mother should look like this when attempting to convince the Judge that she is the best person to be awarded child custody?

Judges, particularly in Divorce, Custody or Family Law Courts, tend to be old fashioned.

Did you know that the dress code for female judges in most jurisdictions requires that they don’t wear open toe’d shoes? If they can’t even wear sandals, what does this tell you about how you should dress when asserting those all important child custody rights?

If you want to Win your Divorce or Child Custody Case, I used to say “Put on your Sunday Clothes.” Since many of us no longer “dress for Sunday,” my advice is to wear something that you would wear for a job interview at a bank.

Men asserting your divorce or custody rights, wear good shirts and slacks – a tie and jacket will get you even more points.

It doesn’t matter that no one else is wearing a suit. You might note that all of the lawyers will be dressed like you. There is a reason for this.

Keep your hair clean and short, clean shaven, your shoes shined and looking rested and healthy.

Women asserting your divorce or custody rights, wear a nice, conservative dress or pant suit (that matches.)

Wear conservative shoes (nothing flashy) and tasteful jewelry, if any at all. Makeup, color of nails etc. should be conservative. Your hair should look “cared for,” not stringy or in some extreme style.

When getting ready for a custody evaluation or court, look at yourself and ask, “Would a stranger trust you with their children?

Mothers or Fathers, go “Old Fashioned” when trying to win at your Divorce or Child Custody Action. You will be leaps and bounds ahead of your opposition.

When you break it down to the simplest form, “All suffering comes from attachment,” you will have the key to releasing your suffering.

Let’s analyze this concept in terms of your divorce or child custody case.

We accept the fact that “The best interests of children” are paramount in any child custody case and divorce case.

What tends to happen, however, particularly in a highly contested divorce or custody action, is that one or both parents’ lose their perspective on “What is truly in the children’s best interests” as opposed to “I don’t want to give up any precious time with my children.”

It is true that every moment with a child is a miracle. However, when parents choose to separate or divorce, the real fact of life is that each parent is not going to have all of the time that they could otherwise have had with their children.

This is one of the most devastating results of parents choosing to live in separate households. However, if you have made that decision (or that decision has been made for you) then it is time to face reality.

Unless the children will be emotionally or physically abused by the other parent, most custody battles come down to “How do we divide their time up?”

In my 30 years of divorce and custody litigation practice, I often have seen parents fight for months over what, in reality, is a minuscule period of time in light of the “eternity” of a child’s life.

Give up those extra days, that extra vacation or that extra holiday. Believe me, your children will be delighted that the custody battle is over, and it will end the suffering for both you and your children.

Child custody is not a game in which the “ego” must be fed by showing the other parent that you can win your point. This is exactly what brings the endless suffering to you and your children.

Get rid of the ego and the need to “win.” When issues arise in your divorce or child custody action, put them into perspective by framing them in the following thought pattern: in light of eternity and specifically in light of my child’s entire life, both as a minor and as an adult, is this particular concern worth fighting about and worth intensifying and extending the suffering?

1. NEVER ARGUE IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN.

The children are frightened enough about the fact that their world is being turned upside down. Do not add to it by raising your voices in their presence (anywhere within earshot).

2. DON’T DISPARAGE THE OTHER PARENT.

Remember, your children still love and need both of you, particularly now. They are losing their world with their parents together. If you try to alienate them from the other parent by saying bad things about that parent, then they will feel as if they are losing one or both of their parents as well.

They will lose you because they will be mad at you for hurting their image of the other parent. And, they will lose the other parent because they will believe at least some of what you are saying about that person.

3. DON’T DISCUSS MONEY WITH THE CHILDREN.

The most important part of a child’s life is having their parents there for them. Money and material things are secondary. Don’t burden your children with financial matters. They should be thinking about their last ball game, not whether there will be food on the table or a parent cannot take them out for pizza because all their money went to pay support.

4. DON’T DISCUSS THE DIVORCE PROCESS WITH THE CHILDREN.

As I stated earlier, divorce is an adult arena and no place for children. They should know nothing about the divorce, court, lawyers or anything happening in your case. They only need to know that which directly impacts them, i.e. when they will see each of you, where they will live, where they will go to school, etc.

5. DO MAKE THE CHILDREN FEEL SECURE.

They are scared right now. Make sure they know one of you will always be there, whether it is at an activity, picking them up from school, being at home with them and so on. Abandonment is one of the foremost issues in their minds. Do what you can to make them feel secure in the fact that they will be okay.

6. DO KEEP CHANGES IN THE CHILDREN’S LIVES TO A MINIMUM.

Divorce always means changes, so work to make those changes as few as possible. Keep the children in the same activities as during the marriage. Try to keep them in the same school with the same friends. Try to keep their routines the same whether they are with Mom or Dad. Kids can only handle so much change in their lives, so be aware of that when making adult decisions.

We occasionally receive comments from angry parents asking how can we ignore what is in the Best Interests of the Child, by instead telling Mothers or Fathers how to assert their Child Custody Rights and Win their Custody Case.

The answer is simple. When a Mother or a Father is willing to take the time and effort to read and study about How to Win their Child Custody Battle, that parent is almost always the one who truly cares about their children and will dedicate the time and effort necessary to be the best parent that they can be.

Books about How to Win Child Custody Rights not only give parents the basics about custody actions and how to conquer them but also make them better Parents. The conduct required to Win a Custody case is also the conduct necessary to be a great parent.

One cannot win a child custody action without being a good parent. And, how can being a great parent not be in a child’s best interests?

Of course, the healthiest way to resolve a custody dispute is through mediation. No matter how a “Custody Battle” is resolved, the fact that a conflict is ongoing between a child’s parents will have a detrimental and generally long term adverse impact upon a child.

If a parent knows how to Win Custody, often those tools can be used to force the other parent into resolving the action without litigation because of the inherent risk of losing custody to the more prepared parent. At the very least, being prepared and knowledgeable about the action will shorten its length in most cases.

In the reverse, I have observed parents who claim all they want is “What is in the Best Interests of their Child” however are really Mothers or Fathers, who do not want to share their child with the other parent. They hide behind this concept, claiming, of course, that an award of custody solely to that parent is the only way to service the child’s best interests.

A parent who is unwilling to share a child is not concerned about their best interests – their real motivation is to “WIN.” Fortunately these types of parents are generally those who plunge into a custody battle without the proper preparation and knowledge about how to really win, and therefore, the best interests of the child will prevail over “their” concept of the best interests.

The best interests of a child are met when both parents are knowledgeable, experienced, loving, caring individuals who truly want the most time possible with their child, understanding that their child also needs time with the other parent.

Parents who are really “In It To Win It” for the right reasons are generally willing to do the work necessary to learn how to succeed in their action, are the parents who care about their Children and want the best for them. How can this not be in the Child’s Best Interests?