Answers to the Ten Most Frequent Questions about Online Divorce Mediation
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1. IF MY SPOUSE AND I DON'T GET ALONG, HOW CAN WE MEDIATE?
It is natural to have a myriad of emotions surrounding divorce or a custody dispute, including feelings of anger, distrust, betrayal, self-doubt and more.
One of the purposes of Divorce Mediation is to defuse these thoughts. A neutral, business like atmosphere is established which makes these types of emotions feel out of place and typically they naturally stay "Out of Mediation."
A therapist’s office is the place for these emotions to surface and be discussed, not during Mediation sessions.
2. HOW DO I GET MY SPOUSE TO GO TO MEDIATION?
Most parties refuse to enter Divorce Mediation because they lack knowledge about the process. Once they know the benefits of Mediation and the pitfalls of litigation, converting them is easy.
This website is designed to educate parties so that they will understand the incredible benefits of Online Divorce Mediation and enter the process without much persuasion required.
3. I AM NOT AS KNOWLEDGEABLE AS MY SPOUSE. HOW CAN I AVOID BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF IN DIVORCE MEDIATION?
One of my purposes, as your Mediator, is to level the playing field. I will make certain that each party thoroughly understands every aspect of the case and the proposed settlement before any agreements are reached.
Full disclosure is also required in Divorce Mediation (as well as under the law.) All questions of each party must be answered and documents exchanged before a settlement is obtained.
4. ISN'T MEDIATION AND THERAPY THE SAME THING?
The purpose of therapy is to assist individuals in resolving emotional problems. Some couples attend therapy to attempt to reconcile their marriage.
Divorce Mediation is a completely different process. The goal of Mediation is to help parties make healthy decisions resolving issues in their divorce and/or custody dispute.
5. WHAT ISSUES ARE DEALT WITH IN DIVORCE MEDIATION?
There is no limit to the issues which can be resolved. Typically they include custodial arrangements with the children, child support, spousal support and division of assets and obligations.
Because Divorce Mediation involves a process specifically adapted to the parties needs and desires, many creative solutions to the issues may be obtained, rather than following "typical court orders."
6. ISN'T THERE A LARGE FEE PAYABLE UP FRONT?
No retainer fee is required to be paid up front. You are charged by the hour and can terminate Mediation at any time, however I can virtually guarantee that you will prefer to resolve your entire case with Divorce Mediation, as opposed to the alternative of litigation.
7. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE?
The answer to this question depends upon the individual case. Some parties are "ready to get it over" and have a reasonable number of issues to resolve. These cases can be finished with just a few mediation sessions. Other cases have complicated personal or custody issues or complex asset issues and take longer.
Because parties can schedule the sessions as early and as often as they desire,
Divorce Mediation is always faster than waiting for the court's schedule and attorney's availability.
8. MY SPOUSE IS OVERBEARING AND I AM AFRAID TO HAVE AN OPEN AND HONEST DISCUSSION WITH HIM OR HER. CAN I MEET WITH THE MEDIATOR WITHOUT MY SPOUSE PRESENT?
Most of our Mediation Sessions are conducted separately. When divorcing parties have a choice, they seldom wish to meet at the same time. There is too much emotion and underlying issues to believe that divorcing parties wish to be together to resolve their differences.
Joint sessions only occur if both parties voluntarily agree to them.
9. CAN I HAVE MY ATTORNEY PRESENT AT THE MEDIATION SESSIONS?
I do not believe attorney's should be involved in the divorce mediation process. Spouses need to keep an open mind and feel free to express themselves. They need to be creative with their resolutions and be an active participant. Attorneys hamper this process.
Each party is welcome to meet with an attorney separately whenever desired.
10. IS DIVORCE MEDIATION RIGHT FOR US?
If you want to avoid an emotionally traumatic, lengthy and expensive divorce or custody action, then Divorce Mediation is for you.
You must be willing, however, to come to Mediation with the understanding that you will be making compromises voluntarily, rather than having the judicial system force you to make those compromises.
You have to be willing to act in good faith, with full disclosure and with the attitude that you want a fair and reasonable resolution for both parties.
If you want everything and are not willing to give in to anything, than litigation, and the pain and suffering that accompany it, are for you.